Goodbye 2012

Matthew 28:5: "But the angel said to the women, "Do not be afraid; I know that you are looking for Jesus who was crucified."

How often I am stuck on the bad news of the past instead of seeing the good news of the present!  Grief, regret, loss... these can interfere with my ability to celebrate the moment and be grateful for the blessings in my life.  Do you have that happen to you?

At one point, in the middle of my faith crisis, when I was dropping out of seminary and facing a bad bout of depression, I felt like everything I had held onto was slipping through my hands, leaving them empty. This made me want to clutch more tightly to dreams that had faded. That was a normal grief response, but it made it harder to see the good things that I did have in life.  Life is so much better  now, and I have done a lot of healing.  But sometimes, I still look around and see what I don't have, rather than how full and wonderful my life is.  I see the crucifixion and the grave instead of the empty tomb and Easter resurrection.

So.... as I say goodbye to 2012...

I say goodbye to holding on to that which I do not have.  This way my hands will be open to receive life as it comes.

I say goodbye to jealousy and resentment when friends have what I long for.  This way my heart is free and light.

I say goodbye to regret for my life not turning out as I once thought it would. This way I can rejoice in the awesomeness that life has brought me on my non-traditional, vagabond, adventuring journey.

Dear friends - thank you all for your friendship and love. You are freaking fantastic.  Here's to a 2013 where we can live boldly and love fully!

Gracious God, it is sometimes hard to let go of dreams of things that we thought we should have.  Help us to open our hands to receive the abundant blessings in our life that we may not see are already there. Thanks! and Amen.